The Power Of Regret
Regret is a real… bitch. I’ve been sitting in regret lately. Talking to a lot of people to work through it. I thought writing about it would hit home for some of you. Maybe you’re currently in the same chair, trying to figure out how to stand up. Or, maybe you had a jiu-jitsu match where a decision was made and it cost you the match. Or, worse… an injury. This article is for us.
The Sitting
Everyone feels regret at some point in their life. If you haven’t, I’d love to hear your technique.
Sitting in regret for months and months isn’t healthy or helpful. The question I ask myself is, “how do I move forward?”
A couple of things are crucial here. The first is taking ownership. The second is changing behavior moving forward. Use the last decision and the feeling as the compass to future decisions. That, along with the help of my life coach, is how I move forward with regret. No excuses.
Turning Struggle Into Success
This is the theme that my book is built around. How to take adversity and come out stronger.
Regret is a teacher. What we do with the experience shows our true strength. The goal is to evaluate the decision, take responsibility for it, and change behavior moving forward. Whatever the incident was, we learn.
Years ago, I was in a jiu-jitsu match and tore my ACL. I did not tap in time and my opponent sent a heel hook. I had so much regret that it was crippling. I worked with a sports psychologist and my life coach to help me get out of the cycle of regret. I spent the next year recovering from my ACL surgery and dissecting every second of that match. The position prior to the injury is called “outside ashi” and I spent every free moment studying the escape, the attacks, and leg locks. I took that regret and flipped it. I would never be caught in that position again, and if I was, I would tap. Winning would be 1 of 2 things: having my hand raised or tapping before an injury could occur.
Final Thoughts
The ACL regret is resolved. The one I’m sitting in now is different, but the process is the same.
Regret means we cared. Being paralyzed by it doesn’t help anyone, especially us. If you’re sitting in that chair, it’s likely time to get up. Take the lesson and try not to make the same mistake twice.
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Dr. Megan Lisset Jimenez
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